The end

So, to celebrate the end of the sixth day of starvation, Nick and I ate.  Yep, six days was all we had in us.  And you know what, I am perfectly fine with that.  

I <3 food

So, I think I want food today more than the previous four.  Maybe it was because I talked to Nick about how much we both MISS food, and then there was the movie popcorn smell...  Ugh, I can't wait to eat, even a big green salad or a bowl of Kashi.

While I don't feel like I've lost weight, I was thinking today that my face looked thinner, and that just so happened to be the first thing Nick noticed when he saw me.  Great news, because you can put clothes on your body, but the face is a little harder to hide...  

A new thing that occurred today was what I am convinced was a heightened sense of smell.  I felt like I was going to vomit all day because of hypersensitivity to smells.  I was made nauseous several times, including while drinking the "lemonade."  I've grown to hate it.  So, I've become great friends with water and herbal tea instead.  

You know you want food when...

... you are dreaming about it, two nights in a row. Yes, both last night and the one before, I woke up two or three times with dreams of being at a social occasion of some sort, eating with everyone else, and mid-bite, I spit out my food and start panicking. I'd forgotten that I was fasting. What should I do- forget it happened? Start my fast again? Make myself vomit? Really bizarre...
I have definitely had bad breath, or at least a nasty taste in my mouth, for the past two days. I'm still not really hungry, and even when I went to the grocery today to restock on lemons, I just missed eating. I really, really like food. I continue to feel pretty good- no headache, plenty of energy (though I'm not doing too much), fine mood- except my sore throat persists. It's been six days now, so if it hasn't disappeared by day eight, I think I'm going to have to end my fast at a week (which has the convenient added bonus of allowing me to eat on my birthday).

Can I just have some orange tic-tacs please?

After day 4 here, my mind is starting to come up with creative ways to make me give this cleanse up. The best arguement it has made, came about 2 hours ago. While enjoying a movie (Cloverfield was pretty good, I have to say!), I usually love to enjoy ice cream or candy of some sort. I knew I could not do this, so my mind came up with another high impact option: orange tic-tacs. Why couldn't I have them? They are pretty much "nothing" as far as calories go (37 calories in the entire box). Damn it! I just need something solid in my mouth (wow that sounds pretty attractive and straight). I'm going to pose this question to a "lemonade diet" message board of some sort.

Also, I feel tired today. I've got a headache, and I'm starting to feel canker sores starting to creep their way into existence. I have to nip this in the bud with salt water. Not excited about working tomorrow, althought things are starting to slow down now that schools are in graduation mode.

Yesterday was tough

I can second the "meal comraderie" notion. I had lunch with a business guest yesterday, and I felt extremely awkward drinking my tea while he ate a country bacon cheeseburger with french fries. A small part of me was obviously salivating because I love french fries and cheeseburgers. However, more importantly, our conversation was not as robust as in previous meetings. Maybe because I as self-conscious about having tea in front of him. In any case...I can appreciate a nice meal with friends and family that much more.

Interesting thoughts on fasting

Last night, I read a story about two guys who tried to fast for 40 days (and only made it 20). One of the guys was Christian, one was not. The Christian had some interesting thoughts in his journal entries, so I am going to post bits of them.

On Day 3, he has a business lunch out, and he sits among them drinking tea, but still feels detached from the group.  "I am in the same restaurant, engaged in the same conversations, yet something about the shared experience of a meal brings a level of camaraderie that I feel excluded from.  The whole experience makes me ponder all the biblical references to shared meals.  I don't think that it's a coincidence that the early Church ate together.  There's something almost mystical in the fellowship of breaking bread together.  In Revelation, John even goes so far as to paint a picture of heaven including a seven-year feast.  It's interesting that the same God who encourages the act of communal feasting also admonishes us to fast.  Perhaps it makes us appreciate the feasting all the more, though I still can't say I've figured it out."

On Day 7, when he admits to being ravenously hungry, he writes, "I think there is something bigger to this fast than just denying myself food.  It's becoming apparent just how much of a culture of instant gratification we live in.  Every commercial for food seems to be based on the premise that when we feel the hint of hunger, we must immediate gorge ourselves, not just out of necessity, but because we somehow deserve it.  In light of this, fasting seems practically countercultural.  It refuses to give in to the prevailing sentiment that we are entitled to fulfill our desires the very moment we feel them, and that the experience of eating will fill some kind of deeper spiritual hunger.  After all, food has become more than sustenance in our culture.  It has become another consumer good.  Fasting doesn't seem like such an ancient discipline in that context.  It seems like something Americans desperately need to embrace."

Day 14: "I got sick today at work for absolutely no discernible reason.  First thing in the morning, I came in feeling fine, went to the bathroom and immediately threw up on myself.  Gross, I know.  The strange thing is I felt fine for the rest of the day.  I have to think that it's the process of my body purging itself of all the trans-fats and preservatives I pump into it.

I'm definitely hungry now.  I keep thinking back to the brief time I spent in Africa last year.  There I came face to face with actual hunger.  Maybe part of fasting in modern-day America is to actually have some context, however small, for what real hunger is like.  I've always been one to bandy about meaningless phrases like "Man, I'm starving" when 11:45 rolls around.  In a society of rampant excess, very few of us know anything about starving.  I cannot even claim to know it now, because I still have access to food whenever I feel like ending this fast.  But perhaps fasting can somehow teach me a little bit of empathy for the vast number of people in the world who really do understand hunger."

Sea-sick...

So, this morning I decided it was time to subject myself to this imfamous saltwater flush, and I must say, starvation is cake compared. It is like chugging a Nalgene of warm ocean. Plugging your nose doesn't help mask any of the yuck either. I really don't think I can do it daily. As long as solids continue to work their way through me, I think I am good in the saltwater department. I'll drink all the tea necessary, just please keep that stuff away.  I did visit the restroom an extra time today, though.  I continue to have white tongue, and Nick confirmed that I am not the only one who has noticed a new yellow hint to my "eliminations."  Can't say that my sense of smell, weight, energy, or attention has changed much, though.  I am struggling to drink my ten servings of lemonade, so I need to make an effort to drink water since I am pretty sure I am dehydrated; I have had a "hang-over" headache most of yesterday and today.

Good news for me- When Nick finishes his week of cleansing, Ten (roommate) is going to join me for the second half of my trial.  It will help to not have any food or cooking going on at the house and to still have someone to talk to about the strange things our bodies do.